Convert Confessions


These questions are smthg I expected in many muslims and converts.

Same as in many christians like I am.

At least I made my questions and got my answers, and that prevents me (as much as i can avoid it, because we’re human after all) of being judgemental… because that’s often the first sin of every religious person: To point out our accusing fingers towards someone else.

This woman teaches a life lesson for all of us: Humans.

We must have the courage to take responsibility of our actions and be honests with ourselves and the world. 

It’s really worth a reading.

Or more!

16 year old Mohammad Chaar is not a Martyr nor a Hero.

-The T times-

I feel like I have no right to even mention your name.

I have been sitting at home reading the #RIPMohammadChaar tweets for the past four hours.

Your friend Yasmine broke my heart.

It’s killing me. Wow, what a weird choice of words.

I am going to make it worse by telling you that it’s not fair. And that no, you are not a martyr and that no you are not a hero.

You are 16.

You still don’t know what you want to do, you just want to be stupid, have fun and stay up late with friends.

You want to kiss someone under the rain, steal your parent’s car, get into college, get a part time job and dance in the streets.

You won’t.

It’s unfair but you won’t.

You won’t because you were murdered and robbed from your friends and family. You won’t because some lowlife squeezed…

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Jingles of fear

libnan, libnan… when will u have enough blood dropped?


I spent the night in Hamra last night, and had plans to take the jolly holiday jingles up to snowy Faqra with friends this morning. Instead, I woke up to an alarming jingle that instantly confirmed the daily fear of every Lebanese citizen: another atrocious bombing, another dozen of innocent victims, another heart-wrenching live coverage that my eyes have become so painfully accustomed to attend to since 2005. This curse is unbreakable. It is here to stay.


A moment of silence this morning for all the lost souls, their families and their loved ones.

A moment of silence for every Lebanese’s shattered dream.

A moment of silence for Beirut’s indefinitely broken heart.

“My Lebanon is a flock of birds fluttering in the early morning as shepherds lead their sheep into the meadow and rising in the evening as farmers return from their fields and vineyards.

You have your Lebanon and I have…

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a thousand days and two lives.

Levant woman

a thousand nights have made me older … colder …

I can’t remember how it all started. it feels like a nightmare..

when I look at my past I feel I’m two people or maybe I lived two lives, one before the crisis and another one after it started… that one before is a long long time ago …

now I’m there in my room watching some pictures of the old times in Damascus … yes it’s a thousand days that feel like a thousand years …

this picture was taken in days like these four years ago near Christmas time. this years no lights will be lit …

in order to build you need years and years but in order to destroy , you only need moments.. will I see these lights again in Damascus ?


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Today I am going to share the transcription of a conversation I had on Facebook with a Syrian friend who lives far from that hell, and supports the revolution (NOT the islamists, it must be said and remarked, as most of those arabs supporting revolutions from out of Middle East are everything except islamists).

Many times we have discussed and talked about the long time ago-called “Arab Spring”, and specially about Syria. She always insisted to me that the bad guy was Assad and that they were on the good side, and islamists were a necessary evil in the fight against the oppressor, but harmless, as far as “Syrians will never accept their doctrine, because Syrians live all together side by side, despite what they believe… our fight is political, not religious. It’s the regime who accuses us of being islamists, but islamists are only one section of the revolt, and must be given a chance, if we believe in democracy” … more or less that was the vision that this good friend of mine always gave me.

It was not my vision, anyway,… and not long ago, one of her friends, during a Facebook conversation, offered to send me a book called “The Syrian Revolt”, by Fouad Ajami. While still waiting for it, I found an interesting Article in Al-Arabiyah, about how is life in a town called Raqqa, after being “liberated” (?) since 2011… and decided to send it to her:


– Tono

Article:  [Syria’s ‘bride of the revolution’ mourns freedom in Qaeda’s grip.]

Do you still think that Assad is Syrians’ main enemy? Do you still think he’s the main obstacle to freedom nowadays for ur country?. Even if revolution succeeded, you’d not be allowed at all to come back… not at risk of being detained or tortured…. but at risk of being detained, tortured, maybe raped and then stoned or beheaded for apostasy… 

I am still waiting for ur friend to send me that book, but honestly… I don’t think at all that revolutionaries can’t ignore facts as they do seeing only the evil in one side, while they let their country FALL INTO AN AFGHAN HELL. Kurds, christians, turkmen, most liberals and also many sunnis are now against revolution because it changed a monster for a worst devil… 

Your friend asked me what would I suggest?….

Honestly, I’d find a way (any way that avoids further prosecution, that’s all) to reach an agreement with the regime, and then join forces to smash and destroy islamists… would it be a surrender?… yes, maybe, but better to achieve a surrender agreement under international surveillance letting Assad in power (and letting open doors for a reform in the future) than saying NO to any agreement while he stays there… and then keep the massacre on, while the only ones winning are those coming from Lybia, Iraq, Chechnya, KSA, Somalia, and half of the world, forcing the fathers of the places they take to marry their daughters to them, and hence… SETTLING and creating a new social elite in the islamist new society… 

If this happens…. this cancer will NEVER disappear. Or it will last much longer than the Assads. It’s the way they took Spain back in VIIIth century. It can only grow.

That is my solution for it. But of course it’s an unacceptable way…. too many ppl died for the fight… uh? .. IT’S LIKE THOSE DEAD NEED MORE COMPANIONS AT THE OTHER SIDE.

– M. 

send me ur email I have the book.

the revolution was smashed by Assad’s devilish plan. He accused the revolutionaries being islamists from day 1. he brought all this to the country not the revolutionaries. and now they are fighting both islamists and regime.

can I share your message on my wall?

– Tono 

he???? dammit M., do u remember what I told u in Toronto almost 2 years ago??? Who allowed islamists to kidnap revolution??? the regime??? remember what told me by then? “Syrians are not like Lybians or Egyptians, we’ll never let that happen, so let’s give islamists a chance like in Egypt, to see what happens”… 

By then, Mursi was just arrived to power after elections, and I also told by then that it was a mistake, and still, you didn’t accept that revolutionaries were building a golden bridge to these bastards to kidnap the whole process and win. Now you blame the regime again… but I don’t. Not in this. 

I won’t deny the regime has taken advantage of this major strategic mistake. But it was not them who opened the border passes for them…. it was not the regime who celebrated their support and their victories “for the common sake of the revolution”, it was not the regime who made the mistake. It was people like you and your friends, who did. With the best of wills, and the craziest of hopes, but it was not the regime. 

The regime must be simply celebrating that stupidity. 

Since day one. 

Because it maybe created a new frontline, and a new problem… but in this war against islamists, they can achieve all kind of supports, even from the west, in the long term… and for sure it smashed for Syrians the idea that islamism and shariah is an option… it told them that they were wrong when they were asking for a chance for islamism to be accepted. 

So not only militarely, but also ideologically, that support that rebels appreciated so much at first, has turned into their main enemy. Even worst than the regime. 


….and now what?… We keep blaming Assad? …Or America?…. or Israel?…. or the GCC’s? I must insist: he may be a tyrant, and his regime a dictatorship… but this revolution was lost the day rebels built a golden bridge to the first brigade that hold an islamist doctrine, and fought side by side with them. 

That day, islamists all over the world felt entitled and supported to fight against “injustice” and the “heretical rulers” that oppressed poor sunnis asking for help everywhere. And there we go. Share the message if you want, but what for… to send a legion of haters after me?… it’s only my opinion, and I am not even  Syrian.

I am a western european, one who is concerned because I still cannot imagine the consequences that this hell still has to bring to the world, even if it ended tomorrow.

The Palestine tragedy or the Lebanese drama are NOTHING compared to what the Syrian hell will be for history, in Middle East and all over the world. Keep this in ur memory.

And specially bcos of my Syrian friends. You among them.

You , who closed the doors to even dreaming… of returning safely to Damascus, …of showing me the wonders of your land,… or the beauty that now I know it had. 

The reason for this is obvious: If I was you, I’d delete that atheism confession from ur FB wall. Islamists check everything on the net, as u could see in the article. Don’t build them a new golden bridge, please.


The regime started it Tono. It is sad how things turned out. But it was the regime that started the islamists thing. I am not being stuborn, I lived there and saw and heard the lies and saw what they can do. It got out of control of everyone.



(Cartoon: Clock, by Pkuzcy)

and we’ll keep talking… and talking, while Google collects bits of our conversation to feed the discrete need of info of half of the world spionage agencies, may them belong to a government… or beyond nationalities.

And people keeps dying on both sides. 

And we talk.

Hola amigos!… Billy, Dimitri, Ahmed, Faisal, Reza, Shlomo,… Marhaba!

From Saudia with Love… and extreme wisdom.

In the beginning there were humans. They had different physical features. That difference generated different expectations. Some humans were able to bring children to this world; a very important asset for survival. Other humans had stronger bodies and were better in fetching food. Through a social process, which no one knows anything about, humans decided to become male and female. Males provided food and protection. Females provided children. Then, as society developed and became more sophisticated another difference was created. Females had to belong to man and to act in certain ways. Males had to belong to other males but also act in ways different to female and to other males as well. Now we had man and woman; we had gender. Expectations were set. Roles were fixed. Characteristics were divided according to male and female. And borders between both were erected. Individuals who sought to breakdown that barrier – such as homosexuals – were ostracized.It may not be possible in any near future to go forward to our previous pristine state of nature, where gender did not exist. But it is important every now and then to be reminded that our current state is in no way natural, nor healthy. It is vital that we cross the constructed boundaries between men and women. There are many ways of doing that in Western and Eastern communities. A man wearing the hijab is one of them.

via When I wore the hijab: Power and the headscarf

 Al Arabiya News


I know, I know…. it’s been a loooong time. Let’s say that life out of the screen demands some extra time, and that was a perfect excuse to take a break in this task of blogging and reblogging. 

I needed to think again, maybe,…. or to catch again the passion. But somehow I felt exhausted and overwhelmed… and imagined many readers would be as well.

I had too many things I wanted to share in deep, specially wanted to talk about the case of Bassem Youssef in Egypt and how he’s facing attempts to silent his voice and his laughs in the after-Mursi era… not an easy task, believe me. 

Also wanted to deal with the changes happening in the geopolitical scenario in Middle East after the agreements between Iran and the world powers, which made Saudis and Israelis become suddenly factible open allies… videre est credere.

And of course I had plenty of things to say about the Syrian hell. I had to talk about how islamists ruined the revolution and they may be the hardest threat Assad and the FSA guys will face… while kurds remain hopefully strong and authonomous, heading towards a “de facto” independent homeland at last, spreading from the Mediterranean to Iran.

And how would I forget about Maaloula?… what happens there, same as in many other christian places of Middle East, breaks the heart of this Mossarab. May God have mercy of us all.

anyway… nothing of that was enough to break my mutism… as this article from Abdullah Hamidaddin did.

One of the most clarivident, if not the most illustrative, and brilliant masculine approaches I’ve ever read about the Hijab. 

Shokran, Señor Hamidaddin… honestly.

…and now, let’s go back to the cave!

Maa’ Salama!